Homesick

 Feeling homesick but not to the home that I go back now. The one that I am used to being in. I want to sit in my grandmother's house with both my aunt's (chithis) and grandma and listen to them.talk about everything especially sharing their teaching experience, with grandpa sitting in the next room quietly listening to everything they say. All of them grand ma, grandpa, both aunts mom everyone has worked as a teacher. Now I want to share my teaching experience and say how things have changed and how much is relatable. Everyone in their back then age and just me at this age. I would like for my girls and my cousin's girl to join in too. These sessions meant the world to me back then. Also I want to be able to walk with my grandpa to the garden and settle down in a small mound of sand and watch him do the gardening while explaining every single thing to me, me listening just because and in the end of these sessions he usually cuts a tender coconut and gives me the water. This stuff can stain your clothes and I had perfected the way to drink these without spill directly from the coconut without a straw. I want to be able to be there. I want to hold my grandpa's hands again when he was sick. Back then while I was desperate to help him I didn't know how, I know a few things now. Grinding the batter for idli in a mechanical stone grinder for my grandma. I never liked doing it but didn't want my grandma to do it either, so I always did it whenever I saw this had to be done. My grandma always say near me and told me stories of the past, the cotton picking and the cane sugar cubes making in my grandfather's family's fields or something from her childhood hostel days. It was all fun. A day like that will be nice. A day spent in that house, grandma's delicious food, grandpa's pampering, chithi's gossips and love snacks often times fish fry, the happy days. One such day will be great..I know it's not happening. I miss Home.